Even in the toughest times, don’t lose hope, being broken only means it’s new ground breaking inside of you.
I’m stronger than I know
Because I believe so, and people have also told me so.
But sometimes, the belief escapes me.
Do you ever get the same? Like…I’m not stronger than that!
Well, you’re stronger than you know.
Sometimes I feel spent, and all cried out. Oblivious of how strong I am.
The encouragement is that I can still find those words,
That counts for something, right?
I can say them over and over until I believe them again.
Sometimes I’m deep down in the trenches.
Clawing my way back up until my nails fall off and my fingers bleed
The energy I have when lifting weights while working out seems to have escaped me.
But I still master energy and keep digging
Because there’s only one way, up and out
Every time I make enough holes in the wall for my foot to find one more step up and my hands to hold onto for an upward climb,
A boulder comes down and hits my head.
I still hold on,
But there are times when the boulders keep coming, and I go back down.
There’s a light shining from above
In the darkness, I can see a speck,
like someone keeps calling at me,
like they have my back and are holding out light for me.
I guess it’s the universe telling me that, indeed, there’s light at the end of the tunnel
The light makes me believe there’s more,
There’s something out there for me
I don’t know what it is, but it’s there
And that’s more than enough for me.
More than enough to keep me digging despite all the bleeding
Oh, it’s true!
I’m stronger than I know!
I’m stronger than this!
There are brighter days ahead!
And I can’t wait!
The bleeding will not last as long as I have my resolve. Surely all my years have equipped me with enough energy to last me to the top.
To the outside…
To go past the rocks.
In Jenn Johnson’s words,
“I know you think, that you are too far gone
But hope is never lost
Just take, one step, closer
Put one foot in front of the other
Just follow the light in the darkness
You’re Gonna be OK.”
And Oprah agrees~
“You’re gonna be OK, you just don’t know it yet.”
Well, I can’t wait!
For now, all I have is hope and a glimpse of the stray guiding light I’m relentlessly following. They light up my soul, and I smile amidst the tears; I can even afford a laugh!
I’ll keep going. It all looks excellent and bright out there, out of the trenches and this trainwreck and…
I can’t wait!