Give mindfully; Balance between selflessness and caring for yourself, otherwise others may take advantage, you’ll forget yourself, run dry and vulnerable.

Choose Self-Love Amidst the Act of Giving

4 min readOct 4, 2023
A picture of water pouring from a watering can onto plants; used to signify the art of giving to nourish others or self
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Giving is fulfilling, it nourishes others and the giver, but often, some givers keep going until they forget about themselves; this is dangerous when you don’t realize the path you’re going down early enough. And when it’s too late, you’ve run on empty and want to give up.

Granted, everyone thinks of giving up at some point, but should you give in to that thought? The good news is, however hellish the going gets, it’ll get better. Often, the power is in your hands to master the art of giving, to get through, control your reaction and how you relate to yourself and others, and, ultimately, have a better outcome, however trivial or colossal.

So here’s to grasping the art of giving and getting through the tough times…

Sometimes the advice,

“Keep giving; your blessings will come,”

Can make one wonder, really? When?
At what point do those you give to stop taking?
At what point do they say thanks?
At what point do they have enough?
At what point do they realize that you also need to keep some for yourself

Well, when you’re giving willingly, you can’t blame anyone…
Can you?

But when the takers take advantage and drain every ounce of blood & sweat from you…
You turn into an empty tank…and feel like a train wreck, grappling for support but nothing to hold on to.

Sometimes, you find yourself singing along so passionately to James Arthur’s “Train Wreck”…
Not because it’s a fantastic song that you can’t get enough of,
But because it speaks directly to the emptiness you’re going through,
And you can’t help but wonder if anyone would come along and pull you out of the train wreck that is your life or the way you feel.

Or perhaps it has just helped you unearth a feeling you had but couldn’t recognize or put a description on.

Sometimes, I can’t stop but wonder when the process will start trusting me. ‘Trust the process,’ so they say.
Why does it have to be a one-sided relationship with a one-way-street trust where only I have to trust the process?
Well, sometimes I wonder if the process even knows that I exist.

Sometimes, you may wonder at what point everything gives…
At what point does the sun come up and never go away?
At what point does every day stop seeming like an endless chase?

At what point does the world give back to you? And so you try to find that balance between giving to others and yourself. You try to find yourself, groping in the dark for some love and strength to keep you going,

…And maybe…maybe come back to reality a few minutes later…feeling a little bit more sane than before….or maybe not, finding only the slim pickings you left for yourself..

Either way, life’s gotta go on…
And the power to control this outcome is in your hands;

“Fill your cup up, surround yourself with people who fill you up so that your cup runneth over,”~Oprah Winfrey

So how about you commit to consciously choosing between:

Being happy or wallowing in stress.
Moderating your generosity or giving until you run on empty.
Sacrificing a little or bending over backward until you break.
Giving love to an extent that feels good, reciprocated, or leaves some love for you, or offering it until you have none left for yourself….

How about taking care of yourself first? Be nice to yourself and pledge that:

I’ll save me some love.
I’ll be nicer to myself.
I’ll learn to say no more often.
I’ll accept that sometimes, as in the words of Dr. Christiane Northrup, “no” is a complete sentence.
I’ll not chase happiness as the end goal but cherish every moment and the precious chances that come with it, however fleeting,

“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life,”~Burton Hills:

A picture of a golden sunset visible through a love-shape created by one’s fingers, to signify love for self
Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Remember to live while still alive because sometimes we’re not really living…

Yes, give, but remember yourself…
Be nice to you, too,
Treat you with the same kindness and gentleness you would someone else; save yourself some love.
Be a little selfish, it’s not selfish but self-love.
Life belongs to the living, not the walking dead.




I see extra in the ordinary & use words to paint it; fueled by a quest for mental health. Lover of forests, fitness, nature, good food & reading & a coffee snob