Be Nice To Strangers
Today I was sitting by a damn, enjoying my own company, the fresh air and breeze, just minding my own business. On arrival, I found one young man in the seemingly deserted site, I however wasn’t too scared as he seemed deeply in thoughts to take notice of my presence. The loner in me was also thrilled as I’d undisturbedly enjoy my time because I go to such places to escape humans.
I felt even better when his date arrived, but she left shortly after, leaving the boy extremely thoughtful again.
Before long, he also left. Then suddenly I heard leaves rattle behind me. I turned and saw him coming from behind and I said ‘you startled me’, to which he apologised and offered me a fist bump and said, ‘I just wanted to ask you something’. I reckoned it was the cliche pick up line or the fact that some boys usually hit on me thinking I’m their agemate-a small girl. Under my breath, I cursed the current time’s millennials’ guts and their disrespect for grown ups. On the other hand, I smiled at the memory of the times I’ve taken advantage of my often mistaken age to get my way or entry into a student-only event.
Anyway, I contemplated dismissing him but decided to give heed to him. This was of course after my always overthinking mind calculated an escape route backwards in case he turned out fishy; forward was the dam a few meters ahead, and I had no plans of advertently drowning. I however figured the only shady he’d have turned out was to snatch my phone, because there were farmers tending to their crops in the nearby farms, hence any other unthikabe act would attract attention. I decided I might as well just peacefully hand him my phone and ask him to leave in case that is what he wanted…sometimes life is of greater import. A plausible explanation to give to my underwriter would have to be thought of later.
All these crossed my mind in a few seconds, and I was brought back to reality when he asked me, ‘If you love a girl who doesn’t love you back, what do you do?’
Alas!! So the boy had a genuine problem yet my mind had been working overtime vilifying him!…
I thought whether I should wear my sassy hat or be subtly direct. I quickly formulated responses such as, ‘I am also in search of the answer, please let me know when you get one’, and ‘I wouldn’t know, usually I fall for the opposite gender and not girls’, but I decided to be nice.
I thought to myself,
Maybe this will help him, maybe he’s actually stressed about it, I remember when I was hopelessly in love as a teenager and I had such questions…
I thought, maybe if I was not here, or if I’m not nice, his other option would be to walk right into that dam and drown his sorrows-literally-to the bottom to ask his questions to the inhabitant snakes that are allegedly the cause of all relationship problems between Adam & Eve. Maybe the boy didn’t really need an answer but just to speak out…maybe he saw me alone and thought we’re in the same boat, after-all misery loves company, right?
I decided to be real with him but nice, and told him, ‘really, there’s nothing you can do, you can’t force her, you can’t force love, you try a few times but if you’ve tried a lot but she refuses, just let her go, you’ll find another.’
He remained in deep thought for about half a minute, said ‘thanks’ and left.
Maybe…..
Maybe he’d have opted for the dam, maybe I helped, maybe not, maybe he’ll still chase the girl, maybe she’ll say yes eventually or take off, maybe he will still hopelessly chase her…I can’t tell for sure. What I know is that it felt good talking to him, and strangely, I also felt like I had learnt something from him with regards to my own dilemmas and questions of whether or not to give up. I admired his candor and incessant spirit, and reminded myself to keep at with my endeavours and keep seeking answers and help.
I also believe that sometimes it feels good to talk, sometimes it feels good to smile at a stranger, sometimes it feels good to say ‘hi’ or ‘how’re you doing?’ to a stranger….I daresay that sometimes we’re at a place for a reason, and sometimes you might just save a life or a heartache…sometimes we need to see other people suffering, and in saving them, you find your own healing for other things….sometimes strangers are guardian angels…
I thought of the many stories I often hear in the news lately about teenage love gone sour, eventually costing a life, a body part or a yielding a jail term. I couldn’t help but wonder whether such incidences occur within a split second decision where unlike the young man, there was no chance of thinking out loudly, asking questions or having someone to look up to.
Next time you see a stranger, say hi, smile, wish them a good day…You might just jolt them out of a detrimental turning point back to reality.
